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| The Blogger's Revenge |
After my failed attempt to experience human marriage, I slumbered. When I was awake again, I considered my next steps. I had decided to become a blogger, so I began working toward that goal. I joined a free blog supplier called Hack.
In about three months I had produced nearly 300 posts. Much of my material was original fiction (to humans, anyway). Most of my other material focused on various collections of items I owned. For the latter, I made posts about my antiques and toy collections.
After posting for three months, I noticed that my free blog host, "Hack," had an advertisement program that was free to use. The program was called "Hacksend." I determined immediately to participate in this program, as it would most likely help me gain blog viewers. I could also earn a small amount of money from the program. To be sure, I cared little for the money. But it would be interesting to see what doors "Hacksend" could open for me.
I applied to the Hacksend program. For many days, I received a message that "the Hacksend Team is examining your blog." The time increased from days to weeks. Then I received an email that stated, simply, "You have not been approved for Hacksend." The email went on to give vague reasons for rejection. To this day, I do not know why I was rejected. I did know, however, that Hacksend, for the first time in a long time, had angered me. If they had any inkling of the nature of my kind, they would have approved my application. When I deign to participate in something, I expect to be accepted, or consequences there shall be.
I determined to discover, if possible, the reason for my rejection. To this end, I made use of my computer and my considerable skills as what most would call a "hacker." I began to probe Hack's Hacksend program. Almost immediately, I discovered the name, "Jasmine James," a foul woman who lived in California, near Hack's headquarters. I quickly learned that she, and she alone, was responsible for deciding who could or could not participate in the Hacksend program.
I memorized her address and delved into every aspect of her life. When she slept, I knew. When she was awake, I knew. When I learned her habits, it was time to discipline her.
I sent dreams. In those dreams, she was pursued by something, a tentacled monster, which was attempting to grab her. She always woke up, breathless, feeling that she had barely escaped. I sent these to her for weeks, and I laughed. She couldn't sleep soundly for weeks.
Jasmine's social media presence began to diminish until it stopped altogether. The only posts that appeared were from friends. Her family also posted, noting that they had "prayer requests" for Jasmine. I saw them, and I laughed.
Near the holiday of Thanksgiving, I decided that I would release Jasmine from her torment. She would be punished to the fullest extent for rejecting me.
I left my office in the form of smoke, and I made my way to a grocery store that was located about a mile from Jasmine's apartment. Once there, I floated to the side of the building and took on the form of a German Shepherd, a cute puppy. I walked the mile to Jasmine's apartment, turned into smoke again, and entered her door.
She was backed up next to the headboard when I made myself known. I took on the natural tentacled form of my kind and grinned with malice. "You were comfortable and fearless when you rejected me," I said. "Why are you now afraid? If you'd had any sense, you would not have rejected me for Hacksend."
Jasmine said nothing; she trembled. "No matter," I said. "You will not reject anyone else."
I used my power to rend her long nightgown. Then I threw my cold tentacles and feelers onto her abdomen, and she began to shiver. As I carried out my mission, I repeated myself: "Jasmine, you will not reject anyone else. Sic semper tyrannis. Goodbye."
The End
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