"An impotent husband, driven by a fanatical desire to father children, forces his wife to undergo a dangerous experiment. The result: the birth of a multitude of monstrous THINGS." (IMDB)
I watched a poor copy of 1989's Things, which was directed by Andrew Jordan. It was written by Andrew Jordan and Barry J. Gillis. Gillis also stars in the film, along with pornographic actress Amber Lynn. In a nutshell, the movie follows two friends who arrive to visit a relative and end up encountering monsters. The monsters are the creation of a mad doctor, and they attack the friends.
To say that this movie is "low budget" is an understatement, and Things is one of the few films that I could not watch to completion. It starts out with full frontal nudity, and for a moment I thought it was going to be pornography (technically it isn't, but young children shouldn't be allowed to watch it). I watched maybe half of it before I gave up.
Things is not so bad that it's funny. It's just bad. Period. On a scale from 1 to 10, I give it a 1. On a scale from 0 to 10, I give it a 0.
Interestingly enough, but not surprising, the film is considered to be one of the worst of all time. That's how I became aware of it. I saw it on a list of "terrible" movies, so I gave it a shot. Lesson learned. You have been warned. There is nothing good about it, in my humble opinion. I didn't even bother to search for cover art. You can find it on IMDB. Wikipedia also has an article about this film.
